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Author
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Topic: My film-what do you think?
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DefLoGiK
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posted 09-06-1999 12:08 PM
Well we've been trying to think of something kinda dark with a lot of gun use. The story goes something like this:
There are two gang type groups that are always competing for the best weapons on the underground market. One day this new "weapon" is announced and both groups go through hell killing many people and each other(not all of each other) getting it. And at the end we all find out that this "weapon" was no weapon at all but a kids game or something like that(maybe not that cheesy). Any suggestions on how to make this story better? Please don't steal it, it may be terrible but it took us a while to think of it! -LoGiK**********************
Keep in mind this description from the main page of LAS:
quote:
The Script Crypt
Walk around the writer's block: Idea development, creative discussion, All ideas posted in here are "FAIR GAME" to use for any and all.
Ideas can't be copyrighted but their means of expression can be (i.e. scripts.) If you want to protect an idea, don't post it here (or anywhere else, for that matter.)[This message has been edited by Jeff F (edited 01-28-2001).] |
dead_body_#ONE
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posted 09-06-1999 03:51 PM
I think it would be funny if the weapon were some kind of nonviolent weapon like a taser or shock baton the movie could end with the guy walking off into the sunset twirling the baton.------------------
************************* "What we've got here is a failure to communicate."
-Cool hand Luke |
DefLoGiK
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posted 09-06-1999 03:54 PM
thanks for the input but we kinda tryin to make the movie serious(which will be very difficult because every movie we've done so far has been either terrible and funny or just terrible). But I'll talk it over with the rest of the team-KEEP THE SUGGESTIONS COMING!! Thanks, LoGiK |
Bread
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posted 09-06-1999 08:13 PM
How about it ends up being:The Ultimate Weapon. Coming soon from Supersoaker. This handy all in one aquatic device comes with: water tank backpack, high pressure gauge, and the public favorite: the water baloon launcher. I thought it would be funny.....but i guess you aren't going for funny. Oh well. Bread |
DefLoGiK
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posted 09-06-1999 08:17 PM
That's kinda what I was thinking myself, but yes we don't want this to be a comedy. We also had the idea that there is a major weapons shipping guy who receives this top secret package and that's the weapon they fight to get. And in the end it turns out to be a gift like a music box for his daughter/neice. Sound cool to you guys? |
Bread
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posted 09-06-1999 08:19 PM
Yeah. that would be cool. It could be like some highly powerful bomb. At the end, some gang banger whom is slowly bleeding to death can open it thinking it will explode so he can take a bunch of people with him. However, he could like open it to find a little ballerina twirling around. Now that would be an ending.  Bread |
DefLoGiK
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posted 09-06-1999 08:21 PM
yeah that would be kool. But the audience never finds out what is in this "box" until the very last scene to keep the suspense high. |
DefLoGiK
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posted 09-06-1999 08:23 PM
Bread, can you take a look at a test movie I did for the use of guns. We can't get a hold of real guns/blanks so we have to add it in post. The test footage can be found here:http://www.geocities.com/area51/dunes/4239/fire.mpg |
Bread
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posted 09-06-1999 08:49 PM
It looks pretty good. However, in some frames the muzzle flare is quite large. You may wish to focus these more instead of have such a wide flare. But mainly, it looks good. Bread |
DefLoGiK
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posted 09-06-1999 09:04 PM
I just completed one where I added some lens flares which vary in size depending on how big the muzzle flare is. It looks a great deal better, it may require some touching up. You can find this movie at http://www.geocities.com/area51/dunes/4239/fire2.mpg |
Tn
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posted 09-06-1999 11:44 PM
I say if you want it serious have it be a nuclear gun but becomes unstable and just blows up the whole city. |
phallout
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posted 09-08-1999 02:43 PM
How about you never find out what is in the box... You know, like in Ronin you never find out what it was they were after, just a box. I thought that was cool how they did that. |
DefLoGiK
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posted 09-08-1999 06:23 PM
Thanks for the suggestions guys. Just so you all know we want this to be as original as possible(kinda stupid that I ask for suggestions but.. )so keep the suggestions comin!! |
ahROhDiuM
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posted 09-21-1999 01:37 AM
You could have the 'new weapon' be a trap set by the ATF or something... then the ATF comes in at the end and tries to finish off the gang members (the ones that are left). |
AndrewTheFiddle
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posted 09-21-1999 06:43 PM
no offence to you because i havent seen any of your stuff but amatuer like our level type filmaking is never serious, its ends up just coming out cheesy and lame, but if it had comedic moments not totally slap stick but some dry sense of humour and funny dialouge and stuff it would end up making the whole thing more beliveable and easier on the eyes and ears, and if theres a bunch of mistakes it makes it even better, people love laughing at people misfoutunes espaically from what i noticed in home made movies...anyways im done..dont go thinking this is going to be kingpin on screen or anything, you wont be able to pull it off, no ment as an insult...ok im done for reals, bye
--andrew |
FroshFilmmaker
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posted 01-01-2000 06:18 PM
Have the weapon be something that completely eradicates both of the gangs. That would completely desroy the purpose of having the ultimate weapon. Kind of a satire/political statement thing. But the rest of it sounds great. If you have time, check out my script under Is this a good idea?
Keep up the good work
P.S. Don't steal my idea either, please. |
AmerikanDirector
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posted 01-02-2000 10:12 PM
Make it something stupid, but not so dumb that people would laugh. Then have the guy just be blank and say "...****..." then cut to the credits.
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Docfunny
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posted 01-03-2000 01:33 AM
This is along "Frosh's" idea:
A weapon that makes all weapons useless. That is why it is the ultimate weapon, when you use it, all weapons stop working"------------------
So Many Roads To Ease My Soul |
DackL
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posted 01-23-2000 07:18 PM
Hey DefloGiK, just out of curiousity what program did you use for those muzzle flashes? |
DefSlayer
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posted 01-23-2000 07:19 PM
Premiere and photoshop |
Mophilian
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posted 01-24-2000 05:15 PM
I think the idea has potential if you stay away from this whole comedy angle everyone is getting at. It needs to be dark and secretive, almost like this new weapon is taboo. My suggestion about the weapon would be akin to the ronin idea but different. Let yous surviving gang member find out the whole weapon idea was false just as he dies. there's dark drama for you. |
Tone
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posted 01-30-2000 01:09 AM
I say you never find out whats in the box. Have the whole movie about these people chasing after it, but never say what it is(like a weapon). My other suggestion is have it something totally ironic. Like something that was going to be given to them in the first place or something that was allready theirs(something meaningful) or something to that extent. Just suggestions. ------------------
ajbolander@netscape.net |
Tone
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posted 01-30-2000 01:11 AM
If it is something meaningful, have it get distroyed.------------------
ajbolander@netscape.net |
Hoop
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posted 01-30-2000 08:40 PM
I think something cool would be to stay with what you said in your original post. The weapon is no weapon at all. The "weapon" should just be greed. The fact that the gangs killed themselves for their greed is weapon enough. The announcement itself is the weapon that was used against them. |
kalabor
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posted 02-04-2000 03:00 PM
Here is an idea. There is word that the military had built a new high class weapon that could wipe out a whole block with one shot. Word get out in where it is stocked and two large ganges get the idea that they could use such a weapon. It goes on that they end up meeting in the same place in the same time and begain a massive gun battle. Slowly it goes on that the police are placed into this event and sent in swat and what ever other forces they can find to stop this shooting. Soon the two gangs basically have to trust each other and fight off the cops and other force to get out of it alive. They soon brake into the department where the super weapon could be held. But as they open up the seal of it, they discover that the weapon is no more then a massive bomb taht can not be shot. They fight off the cops for a little longer and soon the last two memebers in the gangs pull the trigger taking out basically the whole building killing them and the forces that were going after them.
Oh well what ever.My mind runs away with me. just an idea for you. |
Skinned Fox
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posted 02-05-2000 12:10 AM
What if it's something too complicated for the gangbangers to use or understand like a chemical or viral weapon. Or the formula for a chemical or viral weapon, unuseable yet dangerous enough for the govt'/terrorists to kill for.------------------
These are strange and beautiful days my brothers, strange and beautiful days!
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Felix
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posted 02-05-2000 06:16 PM
Get to the end of the film and have this huge climax- God almighty, what's the weapon going to be?- and you open this box or whatever and it turns out it's like this box of sheets or something and that there was a mailing mistake. Some Indian guru in Sri Lanka has gooten this killer weapon for like blowing up Russia or something and he sells it to the bad guys or something. A film where the baddies win. It's been done before, but not very well.
But, honestly it's kind of hard not to make the end funny or ironic in someway that makes the audience laugh. You should try rewriting a bit in the middle so that they get the weapong towards the center of the film, but something happens before they can use it....it's a good concept though- keep working on it, I'll watch it. |
zorster
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posted 02-13-2000 08:38 PM
Okay so I skipped alot of replies, but as I was reading, I thoght about the ultimite weapon. Its a pen. In fact it could be a famous pen from a writer of war novels even the writer of War And Peace (okay so I forgot his name). My other thought was that they kill each other over this box... yet at the end when the FBI CIA ATF come in... they descover that its not the ultimate weapon, but a prop for one on a movie. No matter what, up till this point, all of the characters are straight forward, do not have a deviation from the plans, and are serious. The gag is at the end when the last laugh comes not from the enemies, but from the audiance. |
MicahCA
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posted 02-13-2000 09:45 PM
How about this...it was an illegal shipment, being smuggled in by some other peoples.Then, they do the fight...and the smugglers was a scammer, and he ended up selling the guns to another gang, and then both of the enemy gangs team up to fight the smugglers, they turn on each other...chaos... or...when the people get done blowing each other up, show the border patrol searching the smugglers car, and under the seat, are the rifles. AK-47s, Tec-9s, Uzis, cool things... Out |
DefSlayer
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posted 02-13-2000 09:47 PM
Guys im just gonna point out that i have no intention of using any of these ideas, although i appreciate the help. So feel free to use any of em. -LoGiK |
lyvewyer
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posted 02-13-2000 10:02 PM
two words, "pandoras box"------------------
I was normal once..... I didn't like it. check my site www.angelfire.com/al2/NOViCE |
zorster
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posted 02-13-2000 11:36 PM
ehw, I like that idea,Check this. A series of hints are linked to a local mafia sindicate about a new weapon. The goal is to get them to inform the internatianal spy ring that is being hunted. However, by chance at a heist that goes wrong, a box containing a secret virus is picked up instead of the real, (or fake) weapon. Pandoras Box. [This message has been edited by zorster (edited 02-13-2000).] |
Felix
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posted 02-14-2000 03:31 AM
Why always the mafia or F.B.I or C.I.A and such and such? I think it would be good to see a movie where the weapon is being hunted by a normal guy, normal job, wife, kids, he plays sport on the weekend with his friends and goes to the pub with his mate on Friday's after work. But, what he really wants to do is to kill his boss and make it look like a suicide or somebody else. This makes your everyday character deeper by giving him this freaky dark side. |
lucid
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posted 02-14-2000 10:29 AM
hmm...the weapon is introduced by the government to get rid of the gangs, i.e. they whipe eachother out for it...i still like that music box idea at the end |
zorster
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posted 02-15-2000 01:57 AM
So Felix, How about the idea of this ordinary guy getting Pandoras Box and using it on everyone. Who, or what stops him |
Felix
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posted 02-15-2000 03:46 AM
Feel free to change or use any of this.
The whole time this normal guy is killing and blowing up all this stuff, beating all these hard core criminals singal handedly for a boss known as Mr. X or whatever you want him to be called, and finally when this Mr. X character with satasfied (all through the film you notice that the guys works at Pernell Publishing- made that name up- and you see T.V's at his hom, pub etc. sometimes with no sound, but you get the general gist that the head of so-and-so publishing was murdered, this publishing company's manager was found dead, etc. and you should make the connection that he is killing the heads of all of Pernell Publishing's rival companys.) you then discover at the end that Mr. X is infact his boss, the man he is trying to kill....
any ideas on how they should get out of this little situation?
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mr.showbiz
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posted 02-15-2000 11:36 AM
How about instead of an atual weapon, it were to be a deadly computer virus or hacker's program that could shut down any computer system in the world. Thus every kind of theif and terrorist would be after it because it could shut off anything from a bank's security system to a countries defense systems. Have it hidden on a video game disc so that it can be smuggled around undetected. Then when one of the people who gets ahold of it is almost caught, he goes into a video game store and hides it on one of the shelves. Later, he is shot by one of the terrorists chasing him, so no one knows where it is. Then you could either have a kid or a slobbish video game freak buy it and discover what it can do, then they try to tell the authorities but the "bad guys" find out and chase them. Lots of possibilities to go from there.------------------
Mr.Showbiz
"We are the music makers, and we are the dreamers of dreams."-Gene Wilder: Willy Wonka
"If life is but a dream, then may I never wake."-Me [This message has been edited by mr.showbiz (edited 02-15-2000).] |
paintballnapper
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posted 02-21-2000 05:57 PM
You could make the weapon knowledge, you know, like when they say knowing is half the battle and stuff. Just my 2 cents.------------------
See you on the paintball field.
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MOSES POWERS
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posted 01-28-2001 01:45 AM
How about this: When they are fighting over it, the last one alive opens the box and sees that its just a music box, but it's really an old chinese artifact that can stop all existance, but the gang-bangers think its some big gun, so mabey you could add some cop guy thats trying to stop them all. |
CaptainStubby
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posted 01-29-2001 10:49 PM
So, these rival gangs keep getting info through an underground electronic messaging forum of this new weapon.
Ensuing battle... each trying to keep ahead of the other by decoding the posted hints on the forum.
They get to the end, both gangs nearly wasted and the weapon is a nerd with a laptop working for a rival gang using the info hub as his "ultimate weapon"...very Cyber-Apocalypse
--Trey |
Tn
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posted 01-29-2001 11:24 PM
Holy Crap! Is it me or will this post not die? It was first started on 09-06-1999 and had it's last post 09-21-1999. Then revived 01-01-2000 and discussed all the way until 02-21-2000. Now it has been brought back! I know the guys that brought it back are just being helpful, but seriously, I think this project has either been finished or filed away in the small round filing cabinet.  |
