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Author
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Topic: Feedback on new short film I'm about to start shooting
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Fastlou
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posted 01-04-2001 02:30 PM
I've been working on this idea of a short film where the entire thing is shot from the perspective of security cameras. It's a gimmick, I know. Anyway, I have a script done, but would really some people to take a look at it and give me some feedback. it's only five pages.
Either email me or reply and I'll send out to whomever. the only thing I ask is some genuine feedback, good or bad.
BTW. I have also been trying to come up with more situations where characters would be watched by security cameras, the caveats being that I would have to be able to shoot there relatively easily.
Right now I've got an office, restaraunt, ATM, parking garage, toll booth. Any other ideas? |
Black Mantis
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posted 01-04-2001 02:47 PM
That actually sounds pretty cool. I'd like to take a look.Oh yeah, just send it on over to ryushaba@hotmail.com. [This message has been edited by Black Mantis (edited 01-04-2001).] |
HBK
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posted 01-04-2001 03:44 PM
Now they have cameras like that everywhere, even intersections......whats the plot outline, or does it have a plot?
(It could just be a bunch of situations) |
Fastlou
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posted 01-04-2001 04:00 PM
Well. The basic plot just follows a guy through his day, seeing him interact with various people. The main section is a conversation he has with a friend over dinner talking about various privacy issues and how it is starting to become important. he feels there isn't really a threat, while his somewhat paranoid friend thinks people are watching him.
Then, at the end you see the main character go back to his apt and on his desk you see a bunch of monitors watching various people. |
BrucefreakingLee
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posted 01-04-2001 04:13 PM
good work, thats sounds like a good simple plot, nice little twist.
If its going to be longer then 5 minutes, (I assume five minutes at a minute per page)you'll probably need more then just the guy going about his day. Just make sure we stay interested until the end punch.
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HBK
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posted 01-04-2001 04:15 PM
Sounds original; hey why not have that paranoid friend go crazy and run out of the friends house, and then the guy follows him on the screen then something horrible happends..........or not... |
BrucefreakingLee
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posted 01-04-2001 04:15 PM
Also, how will you set up the "security cameras" for dinner, I suppose resterants may have them, mabye a casino or a club.. |
HBK
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posted 01-04-2001 04:29 PM
If it were to be in a house, you could have a burgler cam hidden somewhere..... |
eggy
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posted 01-04-2001 04:37 PM
I like the idea. Send me a script if you want. Happy to evaluate it!  |
Fastlou
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posted 01-04-2001 05:23 PM
I'm planning to make it under ten. The five pages is a bit deceptive, because a large portion of it will be rather slow, watching him walk from place to place, work at his computer, get money out of an ATM, get smokes at a convenience store, etc. It's gonna be a little more artsy rather than constant dialogue and excitement.
for dinner I'm thinking of doing it in a mall food court, I'd jsut have my actors sitting there eating, and I could be up on a balcony filming, like a tourist or something, and hope not to attract too much attention. Or a small little restaraunt I know.
I'm also planning to use several different types of camcorder (borrowing all but my GL1) like a vhs, HI8, etc so that the shots will look like they came from diff places. Also, some will be in color, some black and white. Some shots still, while other very slowing panning back and forth, like real security cams would. |
eggy
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posted 01-04-2001 05:32 PM
You could rent/buy a fisheye lens cause lots of places use those for security since they see such a wide angle of area. I got one and it's real cool. |
lucasian
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posted 01-04-2001 08:03 PM
Hey Lou, send me a copy. Michael_king17@excite.com
Thanx |
Fastlou
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posted 01-04-2001 08:21 PM
Eggy, I was thinking of a fisheye, but I think when I looked before they cost around $150 or $200, and I don't really have that to spend in the next month or so, I don't think. If I decide it would really help, I'll prolly bite the bullet and get one. |
amittman
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posted 01-04-2001 08:33 PM
hey man...soundz kool....send me a copyandrew_mittman@milton.edu |
SAFilms
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posted 01-04-2001 09:21 PM
oh my god, i've got a wonderful idea!i would, (not saying you SHOULD) have it take place in a mall. i'd have the story introduce two malls security guards who watch the videos with sound and color monitors. the mall's got tons of cameras and they're really bored, so they watch everyone interacting. it'd be like clerks in the sense of "a day in the life of." you're main guy could be an employee who gets in all kinds of dumb gags and plots and they're be room for tons more plots and situations. wow, that's be cool. give me a point. |
BrucefreakingLee
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posted 01-05-2001 12:42 PM
It'd be good if you had some footage look like the old Corner store security cams, that only take a picture every five or ten seconds, so you watch one still frame, then wait, then another, then wait and so on. Also have the video really low quality. |
SFE
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posted 01-05-2001 01:28 PM
Sounds like it could be very good. I love the fact your going to take your time shooting it. The more drawn out it can be the better it will be. You could have the man be some goverment agent or something and when he goes back he could be looking at monitors with those he had interacted with throughout the short. |
lucasian
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posted 01-05-2001 08:18 PM
Hey Lou, Nice,tight script. Good dialogue.
I don't think u need anything else. Sometimes less is more. Some stories were meant to be five or ten minutes and therein lies there power;they get their message across quickly and pointedly. Good job and good luck filming it. I'm sure we'd all like a gander at it once you've finished. |
eggy
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posted 01-05-2001 08:44 PM
I just read your script and I think it's good. I sorta like how there's no real plot, just a long conversation about how they "could" be being watched, and it just so happens that they are. I also like the ending. Now, go make it! |
DigiteyeZ
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posted 01-05-2001 10:55 PM
do you have to film in the "security camera" view the whole time? i mean, couldn't you switch back and forth from normal medium and close-up shots to wide security shots?it might be more interesting because for one, you can see what's going on better, see the interaction and facial expressions in the characters. also, it might convey the fact that they're being watched even more so because otherwise you might get used to seeing things in the wide-security camera view. (does that make any sense?) like with normal shots the audience isn't distracted from what's going on, and then by constantly switching to the "security camera" you remind the audience that the actors are being watched. if the security camera was grainy and low-quality enough they would quickly make the distinction between that and normal shots. i've seen this used this way somewhere, it provides a good reference point. I mean, do any security cameras get medium or close-up shots of what's happening? Not really. So by using both kinds of shots, you have one story going on (the normal shots), and then a story underneath that with mysterious security-camera shots, which make a point and lead up to the ending. (maybe you film normal the guy going to his desk and dolly into one of the monitors and show the whole screen of a security camera following his friend.) just an idea.. sounds like a great story, good luck with it!
[This message has been edited by DigiteyeZ (edited 01-05-2001).] |
Fastlou
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posted 01-06-2001 01:51 AM
Wow. I sure appreciate everyone's feedback. I glad those of you that read the script liked it.
Brucelee - I was thinking of trying to have some of those still type shots that would switch perspectives every couple seconds, if I can figure out a way to work it in (maybe the convenience store scene) I'm gonna try to do it.
Anyway, I hope to be done in about a month, so I'll be sure to post some clips (or the whole thing) when I'm done with it. Thanks again. |
Felix
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posted 01-06-2001 02:21 AM
If the American education is the same as the Australian one you should be able to pick up a normal concave or convex lense from the science department at your school and tape it to the camera (if you want to risk it), I did that the give the impression that we were looking through the eye of a snail, and it was the schools camera too. Came out well.------------------
I once had 509 posts...but now I don't. |
