Low Budget Filmmaking Center

(From user nike_a_go_go)

No movie is ready to be previewed until these are edited in: And Things That You Would Never Know Without The Movies:

*Various Contributors

• If being chased through town, you can usually take cover in a passing St. Patrick’s Day parade — at any time of the year.
• All beds have special L-shaped cover sheets that reach up to the armpit level on a woman but only to waist level on the man lying beside her.
• All grocery shopping bags contain at least one stick of French-Bread.
• It’s easy for anyone to land a plane providing there is someone in the control tower to talk you down.
• Once applied, lipstick will never rub off — even while scuba diving.
• The ventilation system of any building is the perfect hiding place. No one will ever think of looking for you in there, and you can travel to any other part of the building that you want without difficulty.
• If you need to reload your gun, you will always have more ammunition — even if you haven’t been carrying any before now.
• Should you wish to pass yourself off as a German officer, it will not be necessary to speak the language. A German accent will do.
• If your town is threatened by an imminent natural disaster or killer beast, the mayor’s first concern will be the tourist trade or his forthcoming art exhibition.
• The Eiffel Tower can be seen from any window in Paris.
• A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating but will wince when a woman tries to clean his wounds.
• If a large pane of glass is visible, someone will be thrown through it before long.
• The Chief of Police is always black.
• Interbreeding is genetically possible with any creature from elsewhere in the universe.
• Kitchens don’t have light switches — When entering a kitchen at night, you should open the fridge door and use that light instead.
• If staying in a haunted house, women should investigate any strange noises in their most revealing underwear.
• Word processors never display a cursor on screen but will always say: Enter Password Now.
• Mothers routinely cook eggs, bacon and waffles for their family every morning even though their husband and children never have time to eat it.
• Cars that crash will almost always burst into flames.
• A single match will be sufficient to light up a room the size of RFK Stadium.
• Medieval peasants had perfect teeth.
• Although in the 20th century it is possible to fire weapons at an object out of our visual range, people of the 23rd century will have lost this technology.
• Any person waking from a nightmare will sit bolt upright and pant.
• It is not necessary to say hello or good-bye when beginning or ending phone conversations.
• Even when driving down a perfectly straight road it is necessary to turn the steering wheel vigorously from left to right every few moments.
• All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices with large red readouts so you know exactly when they’re going to go off.
• A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended from duty.
• If you decide to start dancing in the street, everyone you bump into will know all the steps.
• Most laptop computers are powerful enough to override the communication systems of any invading alien civilization.
• It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts — your enemies will wait patiently to attack you one by one by dancing around in a threatening manner until you have knocked out their predecessors.
• Calvin says to Hobbes, “its too bad life couldn’t be more like the movies” Then after contemplation, “But then what would we watch for entertainment?”
• Always cut the Red wire!
  The plastic insulation on wire conducts electricity, so you only need to twist the two wires together.
• No matter where you are in Australia you will always see kangaroos, everybody drinks beer and eats prawns and has a barbie every night and we all talk in stupid accents.
• The Good guys always run out of bullets before the bad guys, but the good guys still win.
• Why the hell do computers and other electronic thingys always make beepie noises?
• In the course of every murder investigation, you will have to visit at least one strip club.
• All hand grenades are incendiary.
• One guy shooting at 20 has a better chance of hitting someone than 20 guys shooting at one.
• If the bad guy delivers a devastating blow to the good guy, he will wait for him to recover and not take advantage of the situation.
• All hookers have a heart of gold.
• Stacks of empty boxes always get in the way of a good car chase.
• During a foot chase, there is always a chain link fence at the end of an alley.
• Homeless people are very wise.
• Good guys can operate any kind of heavy equipment.
• If you kill someone’s brother, they will eventually kill you.
• Loose cannons on the police force are the best cops in the world.
• Terrorist only attack on Christmas.
• If a baby carriage is hit during a car chase, there is never a baby in it.
• When a gun runs out of ammo you should just throw it away.
• An explosion in a building will send debris or people out the window, but never both at the same time.
• Anyone who falls off a tall building will twist onto their back before hitting the ground.
• No one ever pays attention to the construction working with the stop sign warning you that the road is out.
• You will only figure out who the killer is when you’re in the room alone with him.
• There’s no such thing as a good demon.
• Lasers travel at the speed of sound not light.
• A cell animated film must have songs.
• When someone is about to crash their car, they give up on trying to steer and just cover their face.
• In space there always seems to be enough air left to keep the fire burning and allow the sound to travel.
• The bad guy always has to preach for as long as it takes the good guy, lying deadly wounded on the ground, to figure out some smart move in exterminating him.
• The car never seems to start at first try when you are being chased.
• Motorcycles seem to have an unlimited amount of gears.
• And finally… A normal house door can always be lock-picked in less than 10 seconds

• Original source from this site:
• http://www.likeastory.com/boards/cgi/noncgi/Forum3/HTML/000017.html